Are you unhappy with your marriage and are you worried about how to deal with a negative spouse?
But don’t worry. We understand your problems that’s why we asked experts and share their insights in this article.
If you have a negative spouse then he or she can take a negative toll on your marriage. And there is no doubt about it.
If you live in a relationship with a person who is always negative, this can negatively impact your mind and you always stay stressed.
It can be very difficult to deal with a negative spouse.
You face negativity in your marriage in many different forms like cynicism, criticism, whining, assaulting, discouragement, dissatisfaction, perfectionism and hyper-intensity.
But you never blame your spouse without knowing the exact reason why she or he is negative in your relationship.
Unfortunately, there are many reasons behind the negativity and we need to find out what exactly affects our partner and makes her or him a negative person.
Table of Contents
Reasons Why your spouse is so negative.
Several different factors can contribute to negativity in a marriage or romantic relationship.
And it’s easy to label a person as negative but the embracing thing is no one makes an effort to understand why or how a person develops a negative attitude.
Here are some reasons that may be the cause of negativity.
Naturally, the brain of a human being prefers negative information first and also negative incidents tend to garner more attention and have a greater effect on the brain than positive ones.
We all know that communication is the most important thing in every relationship. Lack of communication may contribute to feeling negative. Here you just assume that the other person is thinking something and criticizing.
Anxiety and stress.
Excess pressure and stress never make a person stay positive and think positively. It can leave your partner or spouse in constant stress, tension, and anxiety and seriously it affects the ability to feel optimistic.
Mental disorders sometimes cause constant negative thinking. This type of disorder is linked to depression and anxiety.
A person with low self-esteem often cribs and disagrees about their life with people only to assess his or her feelings of others. And also want comfort in negative comments from other people.
When a person has been exposed to emotional or physical abuse is highly vulnerable to cultivating a negative attitude and such a person is even at the risk of developing pessimism and distress.
Related Reading: 20 simple ways to fix a troubled marriage.
Past bitter experience.
When a person has experienced rejection and disappointment in the past has behaved negatively. After that, the person feels lonely in their relationship and never hopes for anything good in his or her life.
And now, if you think that how to help a negative spouse then you need to know what causes negativity. But how do know that she or he is affected by negativity?
So look at the signs of negativity and then learn how to stay positive when living with a negative spouse.
What are the signs of Negativity?
Here are some signs we described below to assist you and we identify these signs from many negative people.
So observe these signs very closely in your partner and then think about how to deal with a very negative spouse.
Negative partner traits.
If you found your partner in a bad mood every time then you make sure that she or he dwells on bad things or painful memories.
The word “NO” is always used by your partner means she or he is affected by negativity. Your partner always says no and saying yes is difficult for him or her.
No one is perfect. If your partner always wants perfect in everything then it’s a sign of negativity and it makes a man unhappy in his marriage.
If your partner is critical of everyone in your life and he or she looks at incidents and events from a negative perspective then you are sure that she or he is affected by negativity.
Related Reading: 20 warning signs your marriage is in trouble.
When your partner complains about his or her life and also what you do then you confirm that he or she has the worst past that’s why she complains.
However, one thing you always keep in your mind is that negativity doesn’t have to define a person’s character and personality. But your behaviour affects her and both live unhappy married life.
There may be many underlying causes of negativity, and your spouse can learn to use more adaptive ways to deal with it.
What to do if your partner is always negative? This is a matter to think about and look at the answer. First, you try to understand what exactly happened to your partner.
And the most important thing is helping your partner to change negative thinking. So we prefer to know how to change negative thinking.
How do change negative thinking?
Dealing with a chronically negative spouse…
If your partner is chronically negative, and you want to change your spouse’s negative thinking then try to follow these points.
However, you not only change him or her if she is not willing to change but you approach him or her to change.
So let’s start to do the following tips and said your partner to follow these things.
1. Eat healthy food.
2. Learn to forgive.
3. Try to be more Frank and open-minded.
4. Avoid negative talking.
5. Develop gratitude.
6. Do what makes you happy.
7. Do exercise regularly.
8. Try to sleep enough.
9. Live with positive people.
10. Try to help others.
11. Take professional help.
Except for these things, there are many things you and your spouse also follow for changing negative thinking patterns.
If you feel that you do all these things and are still you struggling then you need to consult a mental health professional.
Above things help you to avoid negative thinking if you never found any positive results then why not try to encourage positivity in your relationship?
Related Reading: 15 signs my wife is not physically attracted to me.
How to encourage positivity in your relationship?
How do you deal with a negative spouse?
If you marry a person who has a negative personality then you are not responsible for making them feel better and making safe your relationship.
However, you may help your spouse to be more positive by following these steps.
1. Creating healthy boundaries.
2. Try to do new things.
3. Go for a walk with your partner.
4. Spend some fun time together.
5. Help your partner.
6. You don’t overreact to him or her.
7. Don’t discuss negative topics.
8. Ignore the things your partner never like.
9. Help him or her to solve the problem.
10. If necessary take professional help.
After all, you need to learn to deal with a negative spouse in a relationship.
How to deal with a negative spouse?
Negativity breeds negativity and if you are thinking to ignore a negative spouse then it adversely affects you.
We know that dealing with a negative spouse can be a real challenge in life. And having a pessimistic spouse or negative spouse can be quite a difficult stunt to navigate.
As an emotionally mature person, Let’s start by taking a deep breath there is a lot of potentials to turn things around and execute the ways referred to below. These are the simple and easy tips you can utilise.
How to deal with a spouse who is always negative?
20 effective ways to deal with a negative spouse.
Learn to forgive.
The work you do first will be hard to do but in a few days, it will become your habit. Dealing with a negative spouse is also easy for you.
And then it is easy to let yourself become bitter and pessimistic about your spouse’s bad mood or behaviour.
Instead of letting your spouse’s mood affect yours, focus on forgiving his or her mistakes and moving on and living a successful relationship.
Be empathetic and compassionate.
This is the simple way to change your negative spouse i.e you try to be an example for your spouse by concentrating on being a positive force.
Over time and situation, your spouse may find it increasingly difficult to react to your positivity with negative behaviour.
Perhaps your partner has moved through a traumatic and severe event and this has clasped his or her life. So you first consider the situations and problems and show him or her compassion.
This could be molestation, neglect of parents, dealing with pain and sadness at an early age, bullying, and many other examples.
Related Reading: 20 good signs he’s husband material.
How to deal with a very negative spouse?
Fixing clear boundaries in a relationship is most important and also it is the best way to deal with a negative spouse.
First, you think about what you need to feel good about in your daily schedule. And the most important thing is your boundaries should support those needs.
For example, you like to talk less about certain topics that you know your partner views negatively around bedtime.
If you have a negative spouse then you set specific boundaries and let him or her feel that she or he is always free for doing things that give happiness.
Develop positivity relationship.
It is important to strive for social support outside of your relationship. But it doesn’t mean that you exposed your spouse in public.
When you feel necessary you take advice from your parents, relatives or friends. But don’t insult your partner because respect is important in a relationship.
While your partner may be negative, you can build relationships with other people who can assist you to bring positivity and optimism into your life.
And also they can help your partner stay positive and learn to avoid negative things in his or her life.
Take care of yourself.
How to live with a negative spouse?
What is the situation? How big your problem is? No matter how big the problem, it is important to take care of yourself.
Don’t allow others to entertain in your life. And also never allow your partner’s negativity to interfere with your physical as well as mental health and well-being.
Ensure that you are behaving toward yourself kindly and politely including getting enough rest and care. After that, you think about your negative spouse and then learn how to deal with a negative spouse.
Related Reading: 20 warning signs of a toxic marriage.
Don’t connect with negative emotions.
How to deal with a negative critical spouse?
To communicate and engage with your loved ones you need to match your emotions and feelings.
The problem with this is that you compromise your energy and courage every moment and you use negative emotions as a way to connect with your negative spouse.
You also become less effective in helping and supporting him or her if you are both operating at an emotionally low level.
If you are unhappy, pessimistic, worried, stressed, anxious and frustrated, it’s much tougher to listen to others and look for solutions and your spouse is not ready to take your help.
It is possible, still, to offer kindness, sympathy, attention and understanding without compromising your own energy and time and save your failing marriage.
Let go of judging others.
How to deal with a negative person in a relationship when she or he was a judgemental mindset because we all know that a judgement mindset is counterproductive to dealing with a negative spouse.
A judgemental attitude of your partner towards your negative emotionality can simply reverse. The matter is, that your spouse might be under the impression that he or she knows what is best for you, but that is not right.
When your spouse becomes judgemental, she or he might imbibe a negative mindset too. This is because she or he will be caught up in attending to what she thinks is wrong.
As a good husband or wife, you help your negative partner and tell him or her not to be judgemental and sometimes she or he stays away from others’ matters and problems.
Avoid accepting any kind of blame.
When you marry a negative partner, you always found yourself in situations where your partner directs negativity toward you.
If this happens regularly in your relationship, try your best to shake off this feeling. And If you think it deeply then it is pointless to retaliate with more negativity or indulge in a pity party for yourself.
This is wrong if you’re blamed for the things which you are not responsible for but that isn’t even under your control. But it is totally in your control what you choose to accept blame for or not.
When you do feel like you are responsible for this bad situation, accept it without any hesitation. But if you aren’t responsible, you should not be a victim or scapegoat for your spouse’s negativity.
Related Reading: Top 10 sings your wife hates you.
Go to the root of negativity.
How to deal with a constantly negative spouse?
When it comes to understanding how to deal with a negative partner, as important as it is to create healthy boundaries, you also need to open a channel of good communication with your partner.
If you both work together and help your spouse to recover from the negativity then you choose an easy way to identify the root of her or his negative mindset or behaviour.
It may be possible that you found many reasons behind your partner’s negativity. It may be childhood trauma, unfortunate accidents, unfavourable conditions or poor parenting which affects her or him.
Maximum people are never aware of why their partner’s behaviour is like this. Therefore they suffer unhappy married life. So these insights may help them to deal with their negative spouse.
Allow yourself to experience positive emotions.
How to ignore a negative spouse?
If you have a negative spouse or you live in a negative relationship then it is not fixed that you always live unhappily, depressed or stressed.
You have the right to stay happy and you deserve to experience happiness in your married life. Now, do you think how is it possible?
Everything is possible. You need to engage in activities and things that give you happiness and joy and you forget negative things for a moment.
It is completely possible for you to be worried and care for your negative spouse while staying positive and optimistic and your positive response, behaviour and attitude definitely affect him or her. These are the signs you love your partner deeply.
Try to work on your emotional intelligence.
Dealing with a negative spouse…
Emotional intelligence is a part of working on your self-awareness, it requires particular awareness or special attention and it is beneficial for you.
Now the question is why? Because your main problem is how to shut down a negative spouse or how to deal with a negative husband or wife.
So, if you are well aware of how you feel, and how you react appropriately, you will not only protect yourself but also influence your spouse to work on herself or himself.
It is a slow process but beneficial for you and your partner. Without her or his knowledge, he/she started to change and you both live a happy and healthy relationship.
Learn to keep patience.
Patience is a great asset to all human beings. If you are a mature person and you have full patience, then you can easily solve any big problem.
If you have a negative spouse and he or she accepts your help then it’s good news but here you need to keep patience because it takes time.
Your negative spouse accepting your proposal doesn’t mean she or he will change overnight. It’s a slow process but beneficial for you and your partner.
Even if she or he is willing to change his or her attitude, it will take time to become optimistic. So, be patient and let him or her take their time and if possible help her or him.
Ignore hurtful comments.
Ignoring your spouse’s negative comments or negative words is a good practice. In your daily life, you must face your spouse’s negative words which definitely hurts you.
Instead of picking a fight or argument with him or her, try to understand the reason behind his or her rude and negative behaviour.
If possible, ignore your partner’s negative comments and move on. Do not be angry with her for too long and if your spouse is angry then you learn how to apologise to your wife or husband.
If you learn to ignore her negative comments then you feel that you live happily and your changes must affect your partner’s behaviour. And it may change her mind and attitude.
Point out the good.
How to shut down a negative spouse?
Life will be happier if you collect good things with little happiness. If you are living with a negative spouse, it does not mean that nothing good will happen in your life.
After you understand your partner’s viewpoints, point out the good things in his or her life and forget the bad ones.
Always be specific and loving, and behave sweetly with your partner. Compassion and kindness go a long way and so does gratitude.
Related Reading: Top 15 warning signs of a toxic wife in a relationship.
At the end of every day talk to each other about what was the best part of your whole day. Then state the best things you’re grateful for.
This helps your partner look for the good sights each day, instead of the bad ones. It must help both of you get to know each other better.
You get married to enjoy your life with your partner. But we all accept that marriage will have its difficult points, but we imagine that being married will also have the happiness that comes from sharing life with another person.
When you marry a negative spouse or your partner is overly negative, except in the worst of the situation, and concentrate on the things that are not going perfectly, it can rub us down. So follow the things that make things better.
Always be honest.
It is important, to be honest, and build trust in a relationship. Because having honest and considerate communication that allows you to discuss with your spouse how things are working between you and her or him.
Try to bring it up when you both are free and relaxed. Make sure that you have some valid and acceptable suggestions about how to change the pattern in your relationship.
But don’t get extremely concentrated on solving the problem in one particular way because you both accept a comfortable and easy way to deal with this negativity and it is beneficial for you both.
And yes, you are just ready to hear some negative feedback about yourself from your negative spouse but you try to keep the discussion point on the problem that you are encountering.
Give yourself a break.
If you grow in a positive society, you will need to have other activities and new people who nourish and support you. It’s okay to know that you never found all these things from your partner.
Still, you have a good relationship and it just won’t look like it did in your imagination. Then again, whose relationship does look like your dreams? To find other openings and inducement.
Sometimes what we look negativity might be something else. Without settling down the part of yourself that wants to withstand it, you won’t know if your partner really is worried, disturbed, or devastated.
Do yourself a favour and glimpse a little deeper to really understand what your partner is suffering and try to understand your negative spouse.
Related Reading: 15 toxic husband signs in a relationship.
Remember what you love.
Under the pressure of time and circumstances, everyone forgets what they love and what qualities they have in their spouse and they are attracted to him or her.
It may be that your spouse is behaving negatively it doesn’t mean that he or she never changed. You just make a list of the things you love most about your spouse.
And you must keep it available when the negativity starts to make you feel it might help you to keep a journal of the positive things that your partner says or does.
Yes, if you want to change your negative spouse then try to remember her or him in the past with sweet and happy memories and make him or her feel positive.
The amazing feeling to replace negativity is joy and happiness. If you love comedy then watch comedy movies or shows and give yourself the freedom to laugh.
We know, that maintaining personal joy and happiness around the people who create negativity in your mind is very difficult.
These short happy moments may not fix the grey cloud over your family, but getting glimpses of happiness and laughter can help you push through.
If you live with a negative spouse then try to know what he or she likes to watch then you give him or her company and watch the program together.
Take professional help.
Negative things are always harmful to everyone. It may be negative thinking, negative energy or a negative spouse.
Negative thinking is both a door opener to depression and a sign of depression. So here you need to know whether your spouse has suffered from depression or not.
You need to go with your partner to consult a good therapist and begin the healing process. And this process will take patience and a long time.
You also like to watch this video: 20 effective ways to deal with a negative spouse.
Bottom line from Progrowinlife.
Now am sure that you know how to deal with a negative spouse. And it is good for you to start implementing these strategies to change your negative spouse and protect yourself from negativity.
And we wish that you both live a happy and healthy relationship but it is possible when you follow these above tips and apply them for changing your negative spouse. We don’t know whether you believe us or not but it effectively works.
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FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions).
Why is my husband so negative and critical?
Your husband may be overly critical and negative due to having perfectionist values.
Perfectionism often comes from being highly criticized or having high expectations placed on him in his childhood.
It may be reasoned that he likely feels a heavy burden on him.
The reasons for negativity may differ from person to person. So above reasons are not a particular reason for critical.
How to deal with a negative wife?
Dealing with a negative wife is a difficult task and the most challenging work in a relationship. But we suggest some points to add in your daily routine and see the changes.
1. Foster joy.
2. Steer clear.
3. Have a strong form of support.
4. Contain the negativity.
5. Get them to talk but set limits.
How to deal with a negative ex-spouse?
Dealing with a negative spouse is not easy but it is more problematic for you. But the following points must help you and make your work easy.
1. Put your children first,
2. Focus on you and your new relationship.
3. As possible as avoid your ex-spouse.
4. Keep meeting impersonal.
5. Avoid negative intimacy.