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Why do unhappy married couples stay together?
When a person expects more and the result is less than expected, the person becomes unhappy. And this is the same in the case of unhappy married couples. And this is the reality of life. An optimist has never been happier in his or her life because his/her hopes never end. But it is also true that a person cannot give up hope because life without hope and purpose is meaningless. So everyone has high hopes and we all are live with hope and trust.
Everyone is excited when it comes to marriage. They also start thinking about their life partner and have high hope for their spouse. But in reality, all human expectations are not fulfilled and somehow hope remains hopeful. And that is why the person is unhappy and lives all his life with grief.
But why is married life so unhappy?Why does marriage bring sadness?Why does a person have a hard time getting married? And the answer is that when both husbands and wives forget their faith, deeds, promises, vows, responsibilities, there is grief in the marital relationship. If the two do not maintain their relationship with each other, the relationship will be disrupted and both will sacrifice their happiness.
What makes a couple unhappy in the marriage?
But even though some people have been through so much grief and hardship in their married lives, why haven’t they left that relationship? What is the reason why do unhappy married couples stay together? Here we discuss some specific reasons for staying in an unhappy marriage but before discussing this question we want to tell you why a married couple is unhappy in the marriage? What makes a couple unhappy in the marriage? So let’s take a look…
- Lack of understanding in the marriage.
- Lack of love and respect in the relationship.
- When partner engaged in an extramarital affair.
- Addiction to the bad things.
- Feeling undervalued and neglected.
- There is no more trust and confidence.
- Always fighting for the same reason.
- Lack of sufficient money for the household.
- Lack of physical intimacy.
- Lack of communication.
- When your spouse is never willing to adjust.
These are the common facts that make married couples unhappy. And all these things hurting a person a lot and still the couples prefer to stay in an unhappy marriage. Now we want to describe the reason why do unhappy couples stay together.
They are unhappy in their marriage but are comfortable.
A person who is sad in his married life does not mean that he/she is unhappy with his/her partner. Sometimes their condition has worsened and they are in mourning. Could it be that his/her family is having problems with her/his spouse or there are some other reasons for which the person is unhappy in his/her relationship?
After a long period, you both living together and you know each other then you definitely feel comfortable with your partner. And a person always needs a place where they feel comfortable. And sometimes they feel sad but never want to leave their marriage. Now, here most people live this type of life.
They are worried about how they will fare after the breakup.
Most people never want to be free from marriage, even if they are sad at the wedding. Because they have their future in mind that how to make a living after separating from their spouse. It is very difficult to live a single life in today’s world. It will work if they don’t have a child, but if they have a child, it will be difficult for them to make a living and support their child.
So they choose to stay in an unhappy marriage. Being a married couple for a few months or years changes the lives of everyone. They also depend on each other and that is his habit after some days. So it is difficult to change that habit immediately. And also the joys of being with children are not found when they are separated. They worry that the more they suffer in a relationship, the more they will suffer after separation. That’s why a person is staying in an unhappy relationship.
For the future of their child.
This is the main reason why couples do not want to be separated because they care more about their children’s future than theirs. They have all the responsibilities of their kid so they don’t want their children’s future to be bad for them. They know that their children feel happy when they see their parents together and these think sometimes make their parents happy. Some parents think that if they are separated then society is criticizing their children in future. So they never think about divorce.
It is difficult to live alone today and meet all the needs of the children. And they know that sometimes their children feel their father or mother’s absence in their life so they prefer to stay together whatever the situation. Even they also feel guilty in front of their friends in their school and so many problems their children face in their life.
In society, their values will be undermined.
We all live in a society and this society sometimes encourages us and sometimes despair us. After all, we live in it and we create our name and fame and also our reputation in this community. And it takes a long time to build an identity. So always we want to save our values. So people choose to stay in an unhappy marriage because they would rather be in sorrow than suffer slander.
They know that if they are separated then their parents their family members and also their children’s are suffered in society and also their dignity will be mixed with the dust. So they are waiting for the right moment when everything getting perfect.
Hopefully, everything will be fine again in the future.
No one can survive without hope. There are ups and downs in a relationship, and you have to deal with them. If the time is not good now, then we need to be patient and hope that the future will improve. And there are a lot of couples in this hope that everything will be fine one day. They still think that if you have a bad time in the family, you can have a good time. If the partner goes the wrong way, he or she will return to the right path one day.
This person is very rare who is ready to face all the problems without hesitation. They have good faith in God they change everything again and they will be happy again. They know they are unhappy and they have many problems but still, they look happy inside the bad situation for surviving and waiting. They think that once the honour is gone, they will never return, but the happiness is gone now and can be found in the future.
To dispel doubts about the relationship.
When couples are unhappy in their relationship and the cause is skeptical then staying in that relationship and looking at the root of this is better than staying separate. In this situation, they learn every day a new lesson. If their spouse doubts them then they want to prove that they are not wrong and if the person himself or herself is the cause of all problems then he or she never wants to lose a good and decent in their life. So they choose to live with them.
When the truth of the matter comes to the fore, it is difficult to tolerate, but the partner is not left out. A strong and honest person always try to understand the factors that break their relationship and they try to solve the problem and wait for the perfect time when their family runs again in a good way.
To avoid financial problems.
Women are more likely to have this problem. Not all women are financially capable, so they are always dependent on her husband. This is why they prefer to be in an unhappy relationship.
A man also suffers financially after separation because they also spend money in the process of divorce and he also paid some amount to his wife for her maintenance and it is not a small amount. For a middle-class family, a husband suffers financially and mentally.
The habit of living in that situation.
Most people are making themselves adjustable in every situation. Many people move forward in times of distress. And they just eat and sleep and go out to work in the morning. His life seems to be stuck in one place, and neither is moving forward nor changing. Yet they remain in that relationship. They don’t even know what happiness is and whether happiness will come. Hopefully one day it will change.
They can neither accept nor abandon their partner. They still love their partner. That’s why he can’t be hated. They prepare themselves in such a way that they can cope with all situations.
They have a fear of changes.
When they both are in long-term, unhappy relationships, it can be very confusing to stay together or separate from each other. Because one day they love each other so, they never want to leave. They have a fear of change and they are not ready to accept another one. Life change, lifestyle change, everything is changed after the divorce. That time you look for love and care for what you lose in some days.
It is not easy to have one relationship after a few days and then have another relationship. It is true that he has had a bad time with that person and also some good times. So those times will not be easily forgotten. And that person was helping you when you needed it but if it does, the space will be empty. And you also see that the people surrounding you also change and their behaviour also change. That time you feel more pain than you feel now. So most of the people choose to stay unhappy marriage but can’t leave.
Their attachment style.
The connection between a husband and wife is always unique and it reflects in their attachment style. Nowadays our society, community, tradition and culture playing a main role in whether an unhappy couple is staying together. The attachment style shows that both are living a good or bad relationship. Most people are lives a long time in an unhappy marriage with a non-anxious attachment style.
But the anxious attachment entitles high anxiety of change, which in turn is correlated with heightened commitment. Attachment style is also important to save our dignity in society. If you live in an unhappy marriage and you prefer to stay in that then don’t show in society.
Image credits goes to iStock
You may also like to read:
- Why does a man stay in an unhappy marriage?
- What make a man unhappy in marriage?
- Why wives are unhappy in marriage?
- How to survive in an unhappy marriage?
- What are the signs of an unhappy marriage?
- What makes your marriage unhappy?