What makes your marriage unhappy?-Reasons
When you enter into a married relationship and spend a few months or years being coupled is not a guarantee that you will be happy always. At some times things turn upside down and people end up being frustrated and admit guilt why they tied the knot in this place. Exactly what makes your marriage unhappy?
It is frequently told that humans can not grow in the privacy of psyche, core and souls. Thus engaging in happy marriages is a crucial part of a complete life. Being in a relationship is a vital part of prosperous living.
What is marriage?
It is a bonding that is bound to two different kinds of people i.e. a male and female. It’s a relationship which builds by love, respect, responsibilities and sacrifices. It combines two families of a married couple and they face the dangers of a mutual future.
But the exact definition of marriage is a legally and socially authorized nuptials, as a rule, is between a man and woman, that is organized by-laws, principles, traditions, beliefs, and rules and regulations that specify the rights and responsibilities of the spouses and consents dignity to their offspring. You must read this for more information about marriage: What is marriage?
What is an unhappy marriage?
Everyone knows what is marriage but they never say exactly what is an unhappy marriage. It is painful but real that not all marriages overrun being happy and lasting. Its definition varies in a different relationship. And It can steer to a lot of headaches for the partners involved and nowadays, lots of people who always regret ever getting married.
But the simple answer is where both spouses are unsatisfied with each other and they and not agree to accept one another. This relationship gives them anguish, tension, hurt, depressions, injury and a lot of problems that are unhappy relationships. Here a husband and wife always disagree on many things but they must agree to never, ever give up.
What are the reasons for an unhappy marriage?
A marriage today might be a relationship yesterday. Before marriage couples started dating, charming and then starting engaged. Both feel happy to be married to their loved ones and they feel like their dreams have come true. But after few days they face so many challenges in their body, sense, mood, heart and they hide their feelings inside their marriage. So, they live an unhappy married life.
Love and affection are the basic components of a foundation that builds your marriage stronger and long-lasting. Without these basic things, your marriage is motionless, worthless and unhappy. So always put these things in your relationship till the end of your life. A wedding is a relation that is implied to be appreciated not tolerated.
According to research, there is more than 40 percent of people are living unhappy relationships. If you are among these people then you come to the right place where you gain and collect more precious tips for saving your marriage and again you start a happy life.
Lack of Intimacy in your marriage.
The top and important reason for an unhappy marriage is a lack of intimacy between the couple. It is a feeling that increases slowly and steadily in your relation. How much you feel for your partner is measured by your actions and attractions. When you started loving and caring for your partner then automatically intimacy will improve between the couple. And it will make your marriage healthy and happy.
When intimacy is lacking between you and your spouse then you survive in your relationship. The feelings of love and the willingness of understanding are slowly faded away from your married life. So you both are not ready to accept each other’s thoughts and emotions and you started to live an unhappy married life.
Infidelity or Adultery.
Infidelity means cheating on your partner in your relationship. When your partner is engaged to the outsider’s is affecting you for a long time and make you feel unhappy, unhealthy and toxic. And you started doubting your spouse in every action and word it heading an unhappy marriage. It’s a clear indication of a miserable relationship when you don’t trust your mate anymore. When your spouse shifts the blame for their actions to someone else, it shows you are already in an unhappy and sick marriage.
Once you have become a man and wife and start living together as married mates, being honest to each other is one of the most essential factors which decide the future of your nuptials. Therefore, it is the responsibility of each couple to conserve trustworthiness and honestly to one another.
Every cheater person keeps their affair outside their family. They gain happiness from extramarital affairs only remains until it is confidential. But when it gets exposed then your happiness getting masked and you lost your happy married life. Then you and your partner started loss of trust and confidence in the other one. And, surely, your life goes on to a painful marriage. For a happy and long-lasting relationship, you must learn how to deal with infidelity?
Your marriage needs effort.
A happy and successful marriage needs full of effort from both sides. It is very difficult to say that you are staying in an unhappy marital life particularly for those who have been wedded for a long time. And you know what a little irresponsible and carelessness give rise to your marriage unhappy and toxic. Compatibility is the most important part of a happy marriage. It is something you have to work towards regularly.
The main reason for a disappointing marriage is often different in every relationship. But the most common reason is you are not willing to accept your partner for whose he or she, you always want to change their personalities to suit your lifestyle. This is not a good sign for your happy relationship. Rather than change them, you accept your partner who he or she is. And if you are not prepared for it, then this marriage is not meant for you.
Lack of Communication.
Communication is an essential component that maintains marriages active and strong. When you fail to communicate with your spouse it affects your relationship like slow poison. If you are unhappy with your partner or marriage then try to communicate with them and you surely see the positive changes in your relationship.
The incapability to communicate clearly and frankly with your husband or wife is the single most hurtful thing in a marriage. When you closed all the doors of communication in a marriage then your connection begins closing its end.
Nowadays, everyone is busy with their works. But don’t be too busy with the work that you forgot your partner. Always try to create some time to engage yourself with your spouse. Talk about the days that go on and spend some time together. Try to feel her or his special and convenience them to forget the past and feel an apology for your mistakes. Don’t fear, talk to them and solve the problems. Live a happy life.
Lack of commitment.
Commitment in a relationship is important. When your marriage is wanting commitments then you are ready for the end of your marriage because it’s like a poison that smashes your relationship. Now, if you desire to bring happiness back to your marriage then be committed to your wedding. And the best work for you is to avoid the things that reduce the level of commitment to one another.
When you feel that your marriage goes in the wrong direction I mean, towards unhappiness then it’s the best time to be more committed to your spouse. Discuss with them about their wishes, likes and dislikes, goals and objectives and must be encouraged and support them. For instance, you serve him or her favourite dish or send some love messages and feel that you still love them so much.
Physically and emotionally abuse.
Nowadays, the research found that every minute, more than 20 persons are the victims of physical abuse by an intimate partner in their relationship in the United States. Emotional abuse can be more difficult and risky to discern than physical abuse. But the common sights of psychological abuse include verbal assaults and demeaning comments, humiliating and so on.
When a partner lets out steam by using nasty or hurtful words towards their other spouse in marriage then the relationship becomes bitter. Lack of understanding between them is the main reason for which they argue, disagree and disputes are taking place. That’s why they verbally abused each other.
The financial problem also affects your marriage life. If you both are always arguing with each other about money matters then how do you live a comfortable marriage life? It’s hampered many marriages. Some couples are fighting for lack of sufficient money and some are fights for enough money. A wife wants so many things from her husband and it’s normal. But the husband’s financial condition is not supported to fulfill the desires and wishes then both are unhappy. Sometimes the partner get loses their job or is unemployed then their family conditions is going in the wrong direction and both couples argue much time.
If you are committed to a relationship, then you and your spouse owed each other calm, honest conversations about each other’s finances, patterns, purposes and anxieties. Both think for your future so that you never face any financial crises.
Lack of love and respect.
Love and respect are the basic components of a happy marriage. When out of one is missing from the relationship then happiness is slowly disappearing. You must give these two things to your partner even if you are not in a good mood. Whatever the situation is good or bad you must be kind to your spouse even if they do bad with you in that situation. Once you start showing love, affection and respect, then they undoubtedly respond the similar love and care.
The important thing is you always give the attention they deserve and feel their love. When the colour of love and affection are faded away then your marriage getting down. And you both live an unhappy life. One thing is that what you treat reflects on your marriage. So love and respect are fixed your happy marriage. Love binds two hearts together.
You or your spouse’s bad habits.
Bad habits have broken any relationship even if it is marriage. Bad habits differ in a different relationships. Nowadays, it’s the main cause of divorce. But the most common habit is getting a drinker or alcoholic. The saddest truth is between two partners one do wrong and punished the other one. And gradually the feelings are decreased in that marriage. Both are living an unhappy married life because their relationship is hopeless and disastrous.
Intoxication or narcotic addiction, gambling, fibbing, height anger, beating, wrong love and unemployment are some common habits and conditions which makes a marriage miserable. If you or your partner have any one of these then you understand that your marriage is going in the wrong direction.
In a marriage, if you and your mate have high expectations from each other or in your relationship is the main cause of unhappy marriage. Commonly, everyone has a lot of expectations when they get marry or being in a wedding relationship. They expect high from their partner (husband or wife) and try to plan out things, desires, expectations in their mind. It is good but too much expecting from your partner is bad. When they never fulfill all these things you get disappointed and live in an unhappy marriage.
The important thing does not to be dreamy that your married life has the ingredients of a real story. It’s not possible. Sometimes you will deal with some difficulties and problems and both are arguing and fighting. It’s normal and happens in all marriages. Try to be practical and realistic. Accept the realities and keep in mind that marriage is a lifelong commitment.
Comparing with others.
The major reasons for a sad wedding are to see the excess butter on other’s plate. That means you compare yourself and your marriage with others and wish for the same life other people live. You mercy yourself that if you would have married a person like others then you will spend a satisfying life today and you think that you are living a toxic marriage. The newly wedding couples are not ready to accept their present circumstances and they see other couples are happy and blessed. These affects deeply in your marriage.
Nowadays, we spend more time on social media or other social networking sites and which makes our marriage life unhappy. Because these movies and pictures show a different type of romantic marriage life and real-life these things are not exist. In social media couples post their romantic pics, not their bad moments and when an unhappy married couple repeatedly see this they feel sad. Then their demands are increased day by day.
Never ready to forgive and forget.
Forgiveness is a precious gift from God because everyone has not the ability to forgive easily. If you try to do this then you and your partner live a cheerful married life. One thing know that no one is perfect in this world who never do mistakes in their life. If your spouse has done something wrong knowingly or without knowing. You don’t shout or curse at them, try to talk nicely and in a good manner so that you clearly understood the situation. And make them feel that how bad you feel for that situation or the mistake they do.
Some people are never ready to forget the past mistakes of their spouses and they repeatedly blame them for that matter. They feel unhappy and make feel their partner is also unhappy. If you are never ready to forgive or forget then how do you live a happy married life? So both learn how to forgive? how to forget the bad things your partner do? It’s important.
Never willing to adjust.
Willingness to do something is the first step towards the work you want to do. And this will make your work easy. In the case of a successful marriage, you must be adjusting the situation. There are many issues like family chores, household responsibility and duties, children care and other things that are available in marriage and you deal with all the situations. You adjust everything and every time.
If you are not interested in all these things to do then you never happy in your marriage. And one thing is compatibility. It’s not a ready-made thing. You continuously do work on it so that you are happy if you don’t give your effort on this then this marriage is not for you.
How to deal with an unhappy marriage?
Still, you live in an unhappy marriage and you want to stay there. It’s a gut-wrenching decision. And you start to wonder how you stay happy in your relationship. If you stay to get her so many years then you have a kid. This kid is the base to stay happy in your life. Forget everything, focus on your child.
When a marriage is not in a good condition but you are not ready to leave then you start to detach. I mean you or your spouse is addicted to something harmful to your relationship, then try to keep your distance from them. Then your partner is thinking that you change your bad habits for the shake of her or his.
Think about the new ways of connecting with your partner. Make an effort to convert the situation. Try to breakfast together, watching movies as a family, talking about neutral topics and if possible try to connect through calls and messages. So that you again live a happy life.
The first thing you do is to fix yourself. I mean you work on your mental health as well as your physical health. And make sure that you are doing your work to keep your tension, pressure, and emotion in check. Stop arguing or fighting over what you can not change and try to give your attention to what you can do.
You also like to read this…
- How to deal with infidelity?
- 16 signs your spouse is cheating.
- Why married people cheat?
- What is the hardest year of marriage?
- What makes a man unhappy in marriage?
- Why does a man stay in an unhappy marriage?
- Why do unhappily married couples stay together?